Hi. Here’s a messy cheesy carby pile of goodness to wreck all your hopes and dreams.

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. Just not in me. You see, I have a sort of…problem…with actually doing things I’m told to do. Including things I tell myself to do. Or…tell others…to tell me..to tell myself to do.

Sure, there’s always that little voice in the back of my mind making polite suggestions to work out, eat more vegetables, clean my house, or whatever. But then stuff like this happens.

Really, with the Road to the Superbowl and Awards Season in full swing, January is just an extension of the holiday season anyway. Aaand before you know it, it’s Valentine’s Day, so throw February in there, too. Why ruin a good thing?

Let’s be honest, either way I’m trolling for reasons to spend the day face down in a platter of tater tots.

Other children of the 80’s and 90’s…remember when they were such a staple of daily life from K through 12? I mean, MAYBE calling them a “vegetable” and basically throwing them at kids every single day was a wee bit irresponsible…but then again, it was totally awesome at the time.

I simply cannot imagine how I would have survived puberty without these little nuggets of unconditional love.

And now? When I can dress them up with all of my favorite things in the world? Can’t even.

I challenge you to find anything that isn’t delicious on top of a crisp, steamy tater tot. Chocolate? Oh, hell yes. Think chocolate potato chips or chocolate pretzels but 10000 times better. Don’t question it, just love it.

So, yeah. Moderation has no place in my life this year. The kids walking the red carpet can do enough dieting for all of us.